Why I Left Christianity

After spending years practicing and living by the principles of Christianity, I came to the difficult decision to leave the faith.

Since leaving, my journey has brought clarity, freedom, and a renewed sense of purpose.

I did not grow up in a religious household. Although my family wasn’t deeply religious, there was a subtle undercurrent of Christian beliefs in our household and community.

I had an aunt that was heavily religious and would make her children go to church all the time. Occasionally, I joined them for Sunday school and church events, though it wasn’t a regular habit.

As a teenager I lived with this aunt for a brief period. While living with her I had to attend church.

During that time, I unexpectedly developed a profound interest in Christianity. I was drawn by the teachings and sense of purpose it seemed to offer. Enthusiastically I listened to sermons and lessons. I started reading the bible for myself and I started praying.

After I moved back in with my mother I continued to go to that church. I did so of my own will despite a 1-hour commute.

I wholeheartedly embraced Christian teachings and worked hard to align my life with them. Over time, this devotion began to harm my sense of self.

Christianity teaches that humans are born sinners, citing doctrines like original sin. Romans 5:12-14 (KJV) states: “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.” Because of this belief system, which often compares believers to sheep needing a shepherd (e.g., Psalm 23:1, John 10:14-15), I came to see myself as inherently flawed and incapable of self-direction.

My natural human feelings and desires felt wrong, and I believed I needed to be ashamed of them.

I felt it was impossible for me to ever be “good enough.” I began questioning my purpose in life and often wondered if the world would be better off without me.

Even with these struggles, I immersed myself even more deeply in my faith.

I stopped listening to secular music and only listened to gospel music. I limited the amount of television I watched that was not Christian based.  

Every time the church was open, I was there. It became my second home.

I devoted myself to praying more frequently and studying scripture more thoroughly.

This is when things started to change for me.

Up until this point I truly believed that the bible was the word of god. I believed the doctrine that I was taught.

While studying the bible I began reading beyond the scriptures.

The church I attended encouraged members to consult resources beyond the Bible. But we were warned to be wary of any material that contradicted Christian doctrine.

I heeded these warnings at first out of fear of having a “reprobate mind”. Eventually, my quest for knowledge surpassed my fear.

While studying, I discovered that for most of history, people passed down sacred teachings by word of mouth. If you’ve ever played telephone, you know how much a message changes as it passes from one person to another. So, how much did the Bible change?

Furthermore, people interpret and translate messages based on the perspective. This mirrors how oral traditions influenced biblical transmission before texts were written. For example, the flood narrative in Genesis shares striking similarities with the Epic of Gilgamesh, an ancient Mesopotamian text that predates the Bible.

I discovered that when the bible was made, many religious texts were created, but only a select few were chosen to become part of the biblical canon.

For much of the Middle Ages, the Bible was primarily available in Latin (the Vulgate). This limited access to the clergy and educated elites. This changed with early translators like John Wycliffe in the 1380s and William Tyndale in 1526. They made scripture accessible in English. The King James Bible, commissioned in 1604, further expanded access and became one of the most influential translations in history.

This realization made me question the motives of those who determined the biblical canon. For example, early Church leaders excluded texts like the Book of Mary Magdalene. Their decision made me question whose voices and perspectives they omitted from scripture. What biases did they introduce? What mistakes occurred during the translation process?

I could no longer see the Bible as the pure and unaltered word of God, as I once had. This opened the door to questioning everything I had once believed. I eventually realized I could no longer follow Christianity.